I don't talk. Not because I can't. I'm not deaf or anything. I don't talk because...I don't want to. I'm an observer. Like now, I just saw that stray dog poop on the crazy man's lawn. Crazy man comes out with nothing but underwear. Rambles. Look at me. I turn away. Mouth shut.
"Cali...can you just tell me which lollipop you want?" Mom asks desperately. "Pink or purple?"
If mom was more observant, she'd realize I always reach for oranges at the market. Orange flip flops at Old Navy. Orange lollipops at the doctor's office. So, my favorite color is...
"FINE!" My mom slams the lollipops on the doctor's counter. "See! She won't talk."
The doctor remains calm...and most of all...observant. Piercing blue eyes turn toward me...so familiar. Gray streaks of wisdom through her blonde hair. PH.Ds for days. But, even she could never comprehend what happened to me. Why I will never talk again. Ever.
"Cali...is there something you need to say?"
My heart begins beating too fast. Racing. An olympian's race. Memories are at the finish line. Concrete. Hard cement against my face. Blood stains. Red tears.
"Something you need to get off your chest?" the blue-eyed, gray-streaked doctor pushes.
Pushes. Punches. Heartbeat. No more questions. Questions make me remembers the statements.
Cali, cali, call your daddy
Baby, baby, you are crazy
Big nose, big nose, you have foes
Cry, cry, you're about to die!
The tears escape their cage. Blue-eyes, gray-streaked doctor rolls her chair closer. Wheels against the cold, white floor. Mom touches my shoulder and I flinch.
Shoulders. They grabbed my shoulders. Pushes. They pushed me down.
"Loser, you gonna say somethin'?"
Shut. Shut! I should've kept my mouth shut.
"Honey?" Mom whispers.
I whisper.
"Leave...me...ALONE!"
I kick. I.Stand.Up.
"Don't ever touch me again!"
I'm.Ready.To.Fight.
My kick takes the leader's breath away as she bends over and grabs her leg. Then...she looks up. The devil's eyes.
"GET HER A TRASHCAN!" my mom shrieks. Blue eyed, gray-streaked doctor's trembling hands catches my puke.
They ran faster than me. Back down, I fell. This time, never to stand back up. Punch. Kick. Blood comes from my nose. My mouth tastes salty. Eyes can't be opened. I look up at the sun one last time. Black out.
"You done?"
I pull my head out of the trashcan. I look around the room. I see the horror in their faces. They want to know. I wish I could tell them. I wish I could talk. The internal bruise in my mouth won't allow it. My blood-stained mind.
"Are you ready to talk?" the blue-eyed, gray-streaked doctor intensely stares through my soul. Her blue eyes...so familiar.
Rewind. My kick takes the leader's breath away as she bends over and grabs her leg. Then...she looks up. The devil's eyes...blue eyes.
My hands begin to shake. My mom slides the trashcan over, ready for my next round. I look around the room. It can't be. Pictures. Family pictures. I observe. I want to faint. The devil in a frame. Blue eyes, smiling.
The blue-eyed, gray-streaked doctor follows my gaze, as she turns to her pictures.
"That's my daughter."
My hearts skips a beat. Sweat trickles down. My eyes begin to water.
"Do you know her?"