The best friends I have ever known I have yet to meet. That is to say that I have never seen them face-to-face or hugged them or shook their hands. But I know them- the important things about them. What they love and hate. What they hold their faith in. What their dreams and aspirations are. These people have taught me more about myself and about life than anyone I have ever occupied a room with.
These people are the ones I met online through my blog. When I started my blog I never expected to get more than five regular readers, but after less than half a year the following had grown to over five-hundred. We speak together of philosophy, TV shows, fashion, human rights, and psychology. We speak of nothing sometimes, just talking for the sake of communicating or rambling on about the trivialities of daily life. My closest friends there, Alex and Ashley have taught me to be open-minded and changed the way I thought about even the smallest things; to respect all people regardless of how different their lives may seem. That, despite the mentality I grew up with in high school, someone’s sexual and private life should not sway my view of them, their intelligence, or their worth. That love breaks all rules. That there are countless ways to view life and beyond, and seeing it differently doesn’t make me ‘wrong’ or ‘weird’.
I talk to Ashley every day. She lives just a state away, and I Skype video-chat with Alex despite the time difference from her living in London. When my clinical depression became overwhelming in my junior year, I began cutting and stopped eating or sleeping, I sought my comfort from them. I trusted them to support me more than the friends I had at school. Alex had experience with depression and gave me safe, constructive alternatives to my self-harm, and my scars had time to heal. And Ashley saved my life. On a night where I had been suffering from a week’s long wave of depression I was feeling hopeless. Ashley saw this hidden in my posts and sent me a long message that included her phone number and Skype username. I talked with her about what seemed like everything in my life until three in the morning. She told me that I was not weak for feeling hopeless, and that I was not at fault for my self-hate. She told me I was a beautiful person and that she would miss me if I were gone. I think of her whenever I feel depressed and have not contemplated suicide since. I value her friendship more than almost anything else in the world.
After I leave high school and enter college I will keep in touch with my school friends but the ones that I will endeavor not to grow apart from are the ones I may never meet, because they changed me. They helped me see the beauty in things I used to find pointless or boring, they gave me hope when I felt alone, and they inspired me to do my best at everything when I did not have the will alone. The most important things about people are not their looks or age or gender or where they live but their essence and how they affect your life, even from far away. So even though I may never be close enough to share the same room, I will always share the same experiences with them through my blog.