I am Senior at Humboldt High School...and wow...yes, wow!...these last four years have been absolutely amazing! Though they have been filled with times of the purest happiness and, unfortunately, the deepest valleys of my life, I have grown to be the individual that my parents, friends, and I hoped I would be.
But this growth was not easily achieved. It was nothing like pouring fertilizer all over the lawn and watching the grass grow surprisingly fast. Instead, this growth was like the growth of a newly planted bush. Pruning was involved. And yes, the pruning was painful.
When I was a Sophomore I was accepted into the Governor's School for the Arts program in Tennessee. Now don't get me wrong! It was an excellent program, as the teachers were well qualified and my learning experience was the best it had ever been.
What made going through that experience difficult was who I experienced it with. You see, I was accepted into the program as one out of eight pianists. Three of the others did not like me...and did certain things that triggered my depression to swell. My ego was hurt, I felt something less than worthlessness, and out of the four weeks that we stayed there, I cried myself to sleep 17 of those nights. My depression discouraged me from practicing the piano, and my professors noticed. My playing was relentlessly critized by my teachers. Sure, they were trying to help me improve my playing skills, but at the time, with my depression as bad as it was, I was hurt. It was as simple as that.
There was never an easy way out of that particular dilemma. It is nearly impossible to go straight from depression to "feeling normal". Many events happened in-between, most of which probably won't interest you. But ultimately, I had to reflect on what triggered my sadness. And it all pointed to one thing. I was too concerned about whether or not others liked me and what they thought of me.
Having depression, that is not an easy thing to accept. As teenagers we want everyone to love us, which gives us-in return-a feeling of being accepted. But the reality is that will never happen. We must realize that we are only one of 7 billion people on this earth. And every one of that 7 billion is searching for acceptance. Whether others accept us or not, we must learn to accept ourself. Sure, that sounds cliched. But it is true. Take those words to heart. Embrace them. Embrace yourself.