Ever had that annoying feeling of not knowing what's next or what you want to do for the rest of your life? It's crazy, how the things that you don't want to think about always come to haunt you at night, when your trying to get some sleep!
Recently, as a high schooler finishing my Junior year, it seems that almost all I ever think about are things like "What if I score badly on my SAT?" or "What if UFL (my dream school) doesn't except my application?" then, after thinking about these for a good deal of time, the most terrifying question comes to mind, "What do I really want to do with my life?" Sure there are things I enjoy doing, I'm a musician, I like photography, I'm a competitive public speaker, I'm an avid sports fan, I like volunteering at the local food pantry etc... But how, with such a wide verity of degrees and careers to choose from, am I supposed to narrow everything, I enjoy, down to choose what I like the best and decide to spend 4-6 (if not more) years studying, this one subject, so I can someday have my dream job??
I've heard from several, college graduates, that as a high schooler, I don't need to know what I want to do with my life, thats something I can decide when I go on for my masters degree. I've heard from people that have been 10-15 years out of college that, they still don't know what they want to do with their lives! However, I also have friends, the same age and graduating year as myself, that have everything already planned out, one friend spent all last summer on a college search because- she already knows she wants to be a surgeon. While others, have plans to major in music, law, business etc. and all of which have an idea of what they would spent the rest of their lives doing and other random things they would like to accomplish.
They make it seem like its an easy thing to decide, and perhaps thats how its supposed to be, but for myself its almost an uphill battle, my dreams and passions vs. what the people around me expect of me. In fact just over christmas break, I was asked if I was considering pre-law, my answer was simple "Yes, I've considered it, however I am still researching." Now, I'm preparing for a interview with a "Girls State" counselor and she is wants to know what my plans are for post graduation. Do I tell her "I've decided on University of Florida but I'm still researching degrees?" How would that convince her that I'm have the ambition she is looking for and should be the one selected to represent our county this summer. Then again, maybe that is precisely the reason I haven't found the ideal degree yet, maybe I'm not as ambitious as I think I am, or maybe I am just a perfectionist. Perfectionism, is that what holding me back?! Possibly, but why shouldn't that be a factor in deciding my life? Recently, I read an article about a guy who was unaware of what he wanted to do after college, he said something along the lines of- he decided to think about the things that made him come "alive" the most, and then set those things next to the things that the would needs the most- somehow he came to the conclusion that he wanted to change lives and becoming a writer and motivational speaker would be his best chance at that. I must say, the questions he asked himself are things I never even thought of! So Maybe I'll start there, I'll look at the things I LOVE to do and find a way to use those things to change the world! After all, isn't that what I (what we all!) really want?!