Hearing a Whole New World
During my lifetime I had endured seven sets of tubes in my ears and two major reconstructive surgeries. From the time I was eighteen months old, the set of tubes, one in each ear, were supposed to drain off any fluid in my ears. They worked most of the time, but were still not able to drain all of the excess fluid, causing ear aches. Eventually, the buildup of fluid over time caused a small tumor, called a Cholesteatoma, to eat away at the smallest bones in the human body. These bones are connected to the ear drums, they vibrate and enable the person to hear. In fifth grade I had two major reconstructive surgeries in the middle ear. In the first surgery the doctors surgically removed my left ear halfway across my face, to clear out the tumor, what was left of the bones connected to my ear drum, and stitched my ear back onto my head. Those six months after the surgery were very frustrating for me. Not only, did I get picked on by my classmates, but also I received my first C on my report card. I cried about that for hours to my mom, I was so upset. I said the word “what?” a lot, and had to be facing towards a person to read lips, to understand what they were saying. Clearly there was a direct correlation between my ability to hear and my slipping grades, which was no fault of my own. I was isolated from my peers, friends and even family for a time, because communication, was too difficult. I was an outsider looking in, watching, and observing the world around me. The limited senses I had left, mostly sight, smell, touch, and taste.
I first got my hearing aid when I was sixteen. I rebelled against it, as soon as I got home from school, I took it out. When I was at home I never put it in. Almost every day for a whole year I lost it!!! Every single day I lost my hearing aid! Up, down, around, and over the bend I would look for it, until finally I would say “Mom, can you help me find my hearing aid?” “You lost it again?” She would snap peevishly back to me. I would be thoroughly chastised by just one look on her face, the one that would spell disappointment. After looking for what seemed like hours, we would finally involve dad in our scavenger hunt. He would sigh, moan, groan, and complain, but he was almost always the one to be able to find my hearing aid in a span of only five minutes. He would say “HERE”, hand me my hearing aid, and I would scurry off to my room.
One day, a couple of months after this incident, my family and I were enjoying a meal at Golden Corral. When all of a sudden, I could hear the music playing on the radio in the restaurant. I was dancing to a tune no one else, but me could hear. I wriggled in my seat when mom asked me, “What are you doing?” “Dancing”, I replied back. “Why?”, she questioned. “Because there is music playing”, “there is music playing on the radio”, I stuttered nervously. “What radio?”, mom asked again. “Ugh, the one right above our heads,” I pointed towards the ceiling. “So, your hearing aid really DOES, help you hear!?” she stated smugly. “No I don’t think so, I bet I can hear even without my hearing aid!” I proceeded to take my hearing aid out of my left ear. “Oh” I said admittedly. “Here let me try it,” my nanny said. “I can hear the music too,” she exclaimed, and then handed my hearing aid back to me.
As incomplete as the word “OH”, may have been, it summed up what at the time
could not be put into words, my mother was right. She was sitting right in front of me, with a cat ate the canary look on her face, and a rather smug smile. Do the words mother is always right, ring a bell? It did for me at that moment. She is right ninety-nine point nine percent of the time.
After finally realizing what no one else, but me would understand, I was beginning to hear in a whole new world. I no longer rebelled against the inevitable. The ability to hear affected me academically, my studies became easier for me. I could now fully enjoy a sunrise, with all of the bird chirping and rooster crowing that entailed. Anything from the softest buzz from a bee on a nearby flower, to the stomping of an elephant at a circus, I could hear. I didn’t have to work twice as hard as every one else did just to get the same answers, due to my “disability”.
There is nothing physically wrong with me, it is not as if I couldn’t walk or run, spring or jump. I am simply me, a unique individual, who uses technology as a way to enhance my life. I had finally accepted myself. There was an inner peace with myself that I had not had before. Language had opened up to me, I spoke up and often. I came more and more out of my shell, I was more outgoing, and more spontaneous. I was invited to parties and school dances. The change was so astronomical, I was even elected by my peers, to be Junior Duchess at Homecoming, a feat that still shocks and makes me humble to this day. Everyone had accepted me for who I was, and I had accepted and loved myself. However, the best part about it, was I was hearing in a whole new world, and it became my world, and I became me, the person I am today.